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I make only one bed, fluff the pillows, and sleep in it. I don’t have the patience for his wandering dick. I also cannot stand Ann. She worked with me at a part-time job sophomore summer and she’s that girl who giggles too loudly at the cute guys’ jokes, smirks at your bad hair day, and says ‘thanks’ with a heaping pile of bullshit attached to it. In the middle of going down on Steven Tucker, she asked him how many calories were in come. We’re friends only through facebook. When I went through my first major tear spilling break-up junior year one of my friends bought me this book called ‘He’s not that interested.’ I’ve learned to let go of half-assed relationships and immediately delete numbers when they don’t call after two days. I try to delete Jeff, but every time I do, he ends up in between my legs. This would be less difficult if I didn’t find him so goddamn sexy. Jeff was made out of the same Midwestern genetic makeup that created men like Brad Pitt and George Clooney. I. .. or hopefully even bad enough to get her fired. But everything I had done paled in comparison to this. I would put her in her place at last. I carefully wrote her name on the first page of the book and set it with my wallet on my dresser. This was going to be fantastic.***The next day at work, I looked up from my desk to see Marti standing there with her arms crossed and a very stern look on her face. “You were supposed to prepare work projections for your department’s office admin assistant needs for the next six months,” she said angrily. “I was supposed to have them by noon Friday. Where are they?!”“I filed those last week!” I answered, trying not to yell. I then punched up the proper directory on my terminal and spun it around to show her the file– exactly where it was supposed to be. Of course, I didn’t tell her that I had created a batch file to run Sunday morning before the system backup that moved the file from a hidden directory to where it was supposed to be.“Oh,” she.
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